what if i had gone?
would that have made me a hypocrite?
but somehow. there's still this tiny part in me that wants to believe that you're still the same person.
that that jerk i met was some sick joke.
but, i guess not.
and i don't know if i can stand to wait around and find out that you've been like this all along.
i don't even know why i am so upset even thinking of you.
cause there was nothing.
and so, i guess i'll have to walk away.
let's hope you walk after me.
cause i really don't wanna lose my buddy.

school has been fun.
i mean, its so totally relaxing.
a spiritual retreat.
and im really enjoying it.
except that i am sick. UGH!

YAY. CHARLENE AND I PASSED BASIC THEORY.
now i know why everyone says there's no need to study.
haha. its totally not my fault i didnt study.
i was sick.

gonna meet up with mad and sab soon.
yay. i really can't wait.
cause i miss them like crap.
had dinner with wilbur and the rest yesterday.
we had some drinking game.
it was fun. hahaha right charlene? (6sips)

im gonna miss all my friends going into NS.
that'd be like so many people taken away from me):
oh well.

its amazing how quickly my life spirals out of control.
and all i can do is sit back and watch.
watch as people walk in and out.
as God brings new people into my life, and take some out.
the different seasons of my life.
and all i can say is that, i really wish some people would stay on in my life.
people like him. who i guess, walked out long ago.
if only i accepted reality.

4 years. does it even mean anything to you.