i remember the conversation i had with andrew and cheney a year ago
when andrew told me that you're one of the few guys that he admires
and cheney kinda agreed.

and then i remember what errol and josiah said recently
and how they are trying to make me move on and give up
like i deserve better and shit

and then i think of the dream
and im at a loss

the feelings within me have dissolved
why else would i not feel anything when you're around
but then somehow you still capture my attention
you can still make me stop and stare
and so, my heart's in conflict about my feelings too
which is really funny
cause i thought there were so many others around me
i guess i just don't feel that same attraction
or maybe..
what you said about me is true.

oh well. meeting angel was absolutely fab.
i love her as much as ever.
(: its so cool that we can still talk so much after so long.

shopping fills my empty heart.

the grief deep within me is beyond my comprehension