today's sermon was really good. i enjoyed every minute of it. same goes for cell. i think i really really like church more and more. its so applicable.
i dont even know why im so disappointed. its not as if i expected anything. or maybe i did subconsciously. i never thought i'd be so dependent huh. i mean just a word would make me happy. i thought that at least i meant something. but now, im starting to see things in a different light. all that i thought is nothing. and today makes me wonder again. whether i should really do it? do i dare? would he care? i mean, well, i thought he cared about me doing well for As and all but i was deluded. as usual. im always dillusional with anything concerning him la huh. and i realised that this past weeks, i was studying only cos of him. cos i made that promise to him. but well, he doesnt care.
i think i should stop all this nonsence and rubbish. i cant be so dependent on him. i cant let my life revolve around him. i thought i stopped successfully last year, only to be proved wrong. i dont know how to stop. its proving tough.

i guess superman's not around to save me anymore